After suffering mastitis for the third time this year, I have made the decision to start weaning my baby from breastfeeding. Beth my baby is now 10 months and I return back to work in a months time. This decision to stop hasn’t been easy for me though as this will be the end of my breastfeeding journey.
I could continue to feed her for longer but the thought of getting ill again whilst working has put me off. Also she now is so distracted during feeding with her older sister around. It rarely is a pleasurable experience anymore, as she just wants to play all the time, not lie still.
Our last baby
My husband and I made a decision a while ago that baby number two would be our last baby. We are both completely in agreement and our happy with our decision to have no more. We feel very blessed with our lot in life and are very thankful.
When my second pregnancy was over with the birth of Beth I had no feelings of loss or sadness to not be pregnant again. I actually felt a great sense of relief that I wouldn’t have to go through the experience once more. Neither have I felt any sadness as I give away outgrown clothes and toys. I take great pleasure in decluttering our home!
However as I now approach the last few breastfeeds with Beth, I do feel a huge sense of sadness. Not necessarily to end my breastfeeding journey but sadness for the loss of dependence my baby needed from me. She is leaping into toddler hood in many ways and leaving me baby-less. As there will never be another for us, I will never again have another human being so physically reliant my body.
So I will gently mourn the end of the breastfeeding journey. Taking in these last few moments, knowing that I was very privileged to feel this way at all.
End of my breastfeeding journey
Ode to baby Beth
My little baby
Take all you need
Your growing now
And changing fast
Mum will miss this
It may be our last
My precious baby
If you only knew
It’s been a pleasure